About Me

Creating when you know you’re loved is wildly different than creating to earn validation.

The early years of motherhood have been an invitation into obscurity that I didn’t want. My whole life, I’ve found my identity in a long list of accomplishments, GPA’s and accolades (I’m an Enneagram Type-3, if you care). And when I had kids, I figured out pretty quickly that you can’t really “accomplish” motherhood. Those babies couldn’t have cared less about my capacity for anything beyond meeting their needs. So, I floundered - for a long while - feeling untethered, unseen and bitter about it all.

But, through motherhood, God brought into laser focus my dependence on those accomplishments to validate my presence in a room. I grew up in church. I understood I was “loved by God,” but I didn’t really know it. And there I was, with two babies under two years old who I loved so deeply it hurt; and they hadn’t earned my love. I loved them because they existed, because they were mine. God seemed to whisper this to me a hundred times a day - “I love you because you exist. I love you because I made you.” Since then, I’ve undergone a gentle and slow life-reorientation to this truth, and I will be learning how to live out of this reality forever.

I say all this to say: creating when you know you’re loved is wildly different than creating to earn validation. Of course, there were tears and discouragement intermingled with the thrill and gratification of the creative process. And this album is an ebenezer to that gentle invitation from God into obscurity, into a more restful, grounded way of living, and the 20 months I spent learning how to create without having to prove anything. I’m so glad to share it with you.